If the chemistry of the relationship needs fixing, the woman holds 95% of the solve?

Wether you like it or not the woman is the solution to basically every relationship issue there is. That does not mean she is the only one responsible for the issue at hand but that she herself has the ability to resolve it.

Women as Emotional Leaders

Many psychologists (like Esther Perel, John Gottman, and Sue Johnson) have observed that women tend to be more attuned to the emotional state of the relationship and more likely to raise concerns when something is wrong. Because of this: Women often act as the “thermostat” of the relationship - sensing when the temperature is off. If a woman disengages or gives up, the relationship is often in deeper trouble than when a man does. In this view, the “solve” lies with the woman not because she caused the problem, but because she may be the first or most effective person to steer the relationship back into emotional connection. Attachment and Pursuer-Withdrawer Dynamics

In emotionally focused therapy (EFT), couples often fall into a pursuer-withdrawer pattern: One partner (often the woman) seeks connection and resolution (the pursuer). The other (often the man) avoids conflict or shuts down (the withdrawer). Therapists sometimes focus on helping the pursuer change their strategy — not to blame them, but because changing the dance of pursuit and withdrawal can rewire the whole system. In this sense, the woman holds a “key” to a different rhythm.

Cultural and Gender Norms In Western cultures

Women are more likely to seek therapy or initiate discussions about relationship quality. Men are often socialized to suppress emotions or avoid vulnerability. This sometimes means that unless the woman takes the lead in improving communication, nothing shifts. That’s why some professionals suggest that “if she changes, the relationship changes."