The Science-Backed Secret to Staying Obsessed With Your Partner

Rediscover the butterflies, with science on your side. Who says you can’t fall in love with your partner all over again?

Want that "can't keep our hands off each other" feeling to last years into your relationship? Science says that it's possible – all you need is a little intention and curiosity. The honeymoon phase doesn’t have to end. It can evolve.

Studies have found that couples who regularly engage in novel and exciting activities experience stronger feelings of romantic love, even years into their relationship. This is because new experiences stimulate the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, the same chemical cocktail that fires up during early-stage infatuation (Aron et al., 2000).

So how do you actually apply this in your relationship? You don’t need a skydiving trip (unless that’s your thing). You can start with small shifts: take a dance class, cook a new recipe together, or revisit your favorite date spot from years ago. You’re not just making memories, you’re reactivating the chemistry.

Couples who make curiosity and exploration a habit also tend to communicate better, laugh more, and share a deeper sense of playfulness. In other words, the spark you’re looking for isn’t lost, it’s waiting in the unfamiliar. And it doesn’t take a grand gesture to unlock it.

UNDRESSED tip: Plan a “first date” again, even if you’ve been together for years. Maybe even go to the same place where you had your actual first date. Dress up. Get a little nervous. Ask flirty questions like, “What do you remember about the first time we kissed?” Keep the energy playful and curious. Bonus points if you recreate that first kiss, nerves and all.

Resources:

Aron, A., et al. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality.